lördag 16 oktober 2010

Free flowing

At home.

Saturday night.

Don’t feel particularly energetic. I am not sure why, but will give a go at journaling about it.

Have had delicious food. A wonderful evening with my love. I am reflective. I don’t know how I feel about the last few weeks – they could be described as professionally enhancing. Personally enriching. Great learning. Experiential. Still not sure how I feel about the.

Loved last weekend as I did a running race – survival of the fittest. 12 k with hurdles – I finished in 1h 02 min+ something. Really enjoyed it, felt proud that I could push all the way through the race. Thinking of it – that is probably my highlight of the last few weeks. Great people around, cool atmosphere, great training! More of that!

As for work – I have been spending time in, the UK, Sweden, Germany, Poland, Czech republic, Switzerland and Austria and on Monday I am going to France – the travel agenda is immense at the moment, and in all of the travels and work my creativity and personality is very challenged. I am performing, I am doing well, but for some reasons I feel quite reflective about the number of hours I spend, where I channel my energy, the inspiration I give to it and the inspiration I get. What is important is that I am learning and the learning curve is almost beyond what I can cope with at the moment – everything from hard facilitation, and leading an agenda, to process and ways of working development, market selection and creative design development – the role stretches me and I am learning!!! Learning and energy giving activity and surrounding is critical. The learning is there – I have the drive, but I am also challenged by very late nights in dark hotel rooms where I am catching up work that I supposedly could have managed at an earlier hour.

What I love with the learning that I am going through at the moment is that some of the ways in which I do things that I have trusted to date needs to be re-evaluated in this new setting and context. I need to re-learn an approach or generally expand the ways in which I assume my role in different situations. I wonder when this happened before? It probably happens regularly for people, but I am not sure I have always been this conscious of it as I am now! In the past I have always tried to create a blue print for how things works and how I should behave to be efficient and achieve my goals. I think the last few years, my approach have been the same, but now I am in the process of expanding/evolving it – not throwing away my past ways of doing things – just adding new in my library. In the end – to be able to select “which golf club” to play, I need to sleep, train, spend time with family and friends and recognize that leadership for me will as I know it today be about clarity, compassion and choice – but the way I play on a day to day basis will vary on the situation – a situation I can only identify and see if I am present and show up – i.e. feeling and playing in the field.

Wow – sorry for mumbling – but these are very raw thoughts in an emotional feeling that isn’t great, but that already have some clarity around why its there!!!

I am learning, but my energy level is rather low – partly because of physical exhaustion, but also because of the fear of sitting my young years in empty dark hotel rooms doing serious stuff that I actually have the entire life of doing. If the learning wouldn’t be there, I would probably be doing something ells, but the learning is awesome, super intensive and very aligned to my personal objectives, so hey, I am a very fortunate person at the moment – yet just appreciating that I am quite challenged at the moment.

I appreciate impossible to follow, but meant a lot for me to write down.

Until later

Emanuel

lördag 2 oktober 2010

Long time no blogging…

I have wanted to write a blog post for a long while now, but I haven’t done it – I refuse to blame lack of time, so I guess the real reason is that I haven’t prioritized it…for some reason, I have felt that what i have been going through hasn't been appropriate to write about...but I guess the real reason is that writing is not a practice anymore, its not something I do… I love capturing and learning as a result, understanding the journey I am on, but haven’t felt like writing… blogging for me is like journaling, but slightly more daring…when I need journaling the most, I probably do it the least…same with blogging, when I need to sit down, reflect and capture my experience I rush, forget, run and move on… the idea of practice is that you practice, and improve, practice and improve.. as for my blogging, I am out of practice and thus this is not a post that I feel is flowing, instead, I am forcing myself to write something. Bear with me, I need to practice and learn again to see the value and enjoy capturing my experience!

The summer kicked off with two weeks holiday in Denmark and Sweden. Beautiful Bornholm in Denmark, reading, socializing, meditating, swimming and training, being with my energy Majken!

Archipelago in Stockholm – the place I love, my inspiration, my peace! Nature and activity, harmony and fun! Sweden always gives me mixed feelings - I was there last weekend as well! I love coming back, meeting family and friends, but at the same time if I decide to move back one day I need to come to peace with how I want to live my life there.

After kicking off the summer with two weeks of holiday it was back to work, confirming a new role in the new organization! It feels like I have worked for three organizations the last year: Legacy Cadbury, Cadbury-Kraft and Kraft Foods – the new role is a stretch, one of the toughest professional challenges that I have had, but also great fun and an enormous learning experience – really enjoying it actually! The weeks during the summer has been a lot about work, quite bad hours at the moment, but the weekends have been about experiencing the UK – the lake district, for hiking and the south coast for surfing and Bath for golf and nightclubbing! We also visited Sardinia, a beautiful island in the Mediterranean sea – celebration, good food and connecting with family and friends was what that trip was about. One of those when I didn’t feel that I needed a break, but nevertheless really nice!

The summer has come to an end, it has been amazing! I haven’t managed to play as much golf as I wanted, but still, that is a practice I want to carry with me! I am doing good, I enjoy life at the moment, not trying to challenge what I am doing, instead, practice, re-learn, be patient, trusting that the path is right for me at the moment!

Not a particularly inspiring post, but hey, I am back in the game, blogging again! I enjoyed it!

Until later

Emanuel